I am enjoying a week of
sibling reunification and nostalgia. As part of our time together we took a drive to Gary, IN to visit some of our former homes. The pictures here are a sampling of our trip and proof of the old adage, "you can't go back". Two of the three homes that we lived in while in Gary are now abandoned and uninhabitable. It was such a weird feeling to see the outline of happy, familiar memories and have the "heeby jeeby" tingle going up my spine because I was expecting a drug addict or wild, rabid dog to jump out from the wide-open door, pulled from its hinges.
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| today |
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| 1977 |
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| 1982 |
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| today |
The homes themselves seemed so much smaller. We all say that when we go back and look at places from our childhood they look so much smaller than we remembered, forgetting that we ourselves were smaller and therefore everything else looked big from our perspective. Walking around yesterday, it was more than that though. The homes literally looked like they had shrunk. To check, I pulled some old photos to compare and they really do look smaller today. Changed landscaping or just overgrown shrubs and grasses that have swallowed the size of the home, missing awnings and planters have all diminished the appearance. A part of me wonders if every home shrinks when a family leaves. I imagine a vacuum pack sealer sucking out the laughter at birthday parties, the late night kisses goodnight, the puppies being born in the backyard, the strawberry patches and graduation open houses. The day my family moved out of these homes we stepped out and closed the door and moved forward to the next place. Pulling away, did we hear the slow, steady, slurping sound of all those moments and memories being extracted, leaving only the vacuum packed house address?
This leaves me with the very helpful take away, I can't go back but I can move forward and inhabit the space I'm in. Every day that I manage to be present and live fully in the moment, I picture myself filling the space of my current home. Hopefully my boys will look back on their home one day and think to themselves, "I remember it being so much bigger!"
A very positive take on a potentially pretty depressing experience, Lisa! It seems as if the houses are more diminished by the economy of Gary than by anything else. Anyway-you clearly carry the legacy of those kisses and graduation parties with you, especially you, wherever you go!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Birch. The Gary economy is devastating. They could make money for the city by offering it as a backdrop for zombie movies.
ReplyDeleteI spent a lot of time there 4 years ago canvassing and it was shocking... You could probably tell when you were there how widespread the abandonment is - 30 year old trees growing up through some of the houses... So I guess at least you guys aren't alone re: your childhood homes... Yeah, they do look smaller - just like at a funeral - the Soul has flown!
ReplyDeleteThe soul has flown is exactly what I was trying to express.
ReplyDeleteJust goes to show that its the people and memories that make a house a home, huh?
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely.
Deletea really beautiful post. It makes me think of a house like I would the home of a shellfish - we move out and fill up a different space, leaving the old house to become a relic, something aching but beautiful, haunting and curious. still, I'm sorry to see so much abandonment...
ReplyDeleteLOVE the idea of making a house bigger by the life you put into it--beautiful sentiment :)
ReplyDelete