Behind the Curtain

Sinus pain, itchy throat and eyes, plugged ears, pre-menstrual funk, and fatigue - not a good weekend.  I really didn't feel like writing today.  A small voice inside called out though, urging me to be real.  One of the reasons I started writing was to be more honest and uncover some of the parenting and general life stuff that we all gloss over as we greet each other with, "I'm fine.  How are you?"

funk-o-mart (Photo credit: Digital Sextant)

I'm not fine today.  I don't have to be.  No one is fine all the time.  If they are, then they are lying or on serious medication.  Every once in awhile we need to show each other what's behind the curtain.  We need to share what lies deeper, beyond the surface.  My struggle sometimes is that I feel giving voice to my funk will make it grow.  If I tell you  how much my foot hurts, will that make it feel any better... no.  I go between feeling disingenuous or feeling like a Debbie downer.  Here's what I'm coming to this week - the more real I am with people, the more my friends and family can call me out on my $%#&.  If I only talk to people when life is good and manageable then I don't really have a source for being held accountable or receiving genuine concern.  And in terms of others, if I'm not real, than I just perpetuate the fallacy that being a good person or striving for good parenting means you're always good.  We all know that's not true. 

I feel crappy.  So, how are you?

p.s. Zemanta is the program I use to find legit photos for the blog.  It picks up on key words in the blog and makes suggestions for appropriate images.  The words, "pre-menstrual funk" inspired the pic above.  Smile.

Murphy's Law

Metsu, Gabriel - Sick Child, the (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Last week I had a major fundraiser for my job and unplanned travel to SD for a family funeral.  I travel again on Thursday, for a wedding at which I will see all four of my siblings.  There's a lot going on and I've had "short weeks" to get things done at work and to get things done at home.  So, since I have a long to do list with a tighter than usual schedule what do you think would be the obvious thing to have happen?  Murphy's Law.

My very healthy, optimistic leaning, go getter son is sick as a dog.  He is a pool of snot, hot with fever, NO APPETITE, and has a cough that makes it hard to breath.  He is a mess.  Being a high school student, he's also feeling an oppressive weight of homework starting to press on his chest.  We have to get him to the doctor not because there is going to be some miracle cure there (although I hope) but so that he can have an excused absence and not be penalized for having a flu bug.  I have to admit, I had a moment of "Why me?" frustration that surfaced.  I'm worried about my son and I'm worried about my own work load and how everything will get done before I leave again later this week.

The answer of course is that it won't.  Everything will not get done.  People will be let down and may even be annoyed with me.  Dishes will sit in the sink, clothes from our last trip may not all get put away.  It will be stressful wondering if I am choosing the right things to prioritize and the right things to postpone.  I can only worry about one thing at a time.  Take a number.  My son gets to be at the top of the list.  Everything else will get done...eventually, just not today.