Tuesday, February 21, 2012


I started this writing project as a creative outlet.  Thoughts and ideas were swirling in my head and I was tired of hearing really great people beat themselves up so much.  I felt like I had something to say about being kind to ourselves as parents.  The title is meant to hint at the persistent scrutiny that we tend to impose on ourselves. 

Here's my observation to date.  After only four days of writing, there is an overwhelming response of concern from my friends (which I appreciate).  The comment is some variation of, "Don't feel like you have to write everyday.  It doesn't have to be a permanent thing."  I don't think this is just them responding to me and my unique personality traits - at least not completely.

I think they are responding to a way too common tendency of women or parents or people in general (I'm not sure if women or parents have a monopoly on this trait) to be harsh critics of themselves.  Is it impossible to take on a creative project simply for the enjoyment of doing it?  Will I beat myself up if I skip a day or a week or a month?  If no one follows this blog, will it be enough to do this just for myself?  You know what I'm talking about.  We find compelling reasons to put ourselves second, third, or even last.  We find ourselves too exhausted to do the very things that invigorate us.  And when we do take time for ourselves we too quickly start criticizing our effort and dump guilt on ourselves (I could have worked out longer, I should have done this sooner, I really ought to be doing some other thing right now...).

My challenge to you and for myself is to do something that is calling to you, nagging at you maybe.  Don't worry about whether you will keep up with it forever.  Do something for yourself and enjoy it in the moment.  Forever is just lots of moments strung together.


  1. "forever is just lots of moments strung together" or in my world "a marathon is just lots of steps one after another"

    When my daughter and I run together and she is struggling (needs water, legs hurt, doesn't like the route) I always ask her "can you control it?" If the answer is yes then fix it/do something different. If the answer is no than let it go because you can't change it. Change what you can control, let go of the rest and go back to your breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Sounds like you are in control- blog when it feels good. Let go when it doesn't. Go back to your breath.

  2. Thanks for the running example. Good to have you checking in here.