Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Time Flies

Yesterday I wrote about some thoughts I had while driving and how it connected to my feelings for my son's own driving future, in It's A Small World.  Linking to Facebook, I wrote, "In honor of my son receiving his driving permit today."  I  don't know how many people read the post but a lot of folks reacted to the Facebook teaser.  How could it be possible that he could be old enough to be in driver's ed?  Disbelief, sadness, and big blobs of denial filled the comment section.  If he was old enough to drive, what did it mean about us?

I do miss the little boy.  There are times when I wish it was possible to freeze the frame and keep my sons as they are.  I've thought that at most every age (although I considered farming them out to relatives between 10-11 yrs old).  Every year, sometimes every month, has brought a new skill, or interest, or quality that deepened who they are as people.  As much as I would like to keep my 15 yr old dependent on two wheel or chauffeured transportation, I'm just as curious to see what type of 16 yr. old he becomes. 

I'm confident that my son is going to be great and hopefully take the right amount of risks to be interesting and curious about life without getting hurt or put in jail.  What the Facebook comments triggered in me was an evaluation of my own growth.  How could my son be so much older?  I don't feel like I've changed much...ooooh, maybe that's a problem. As my children get older, I come closer to the age when parenting will not be a main focus for my energy.  The children in our life, whether they are our own or the nieces and nephews, neighbors, and friends, remind us that life is all about change and growth.  Kids shove it in our faces, "Look what I can do!  Look how much taller I am.  Look how I can figure things out without you.  Look how I have my own ideas and opinions."  More and more, I'm getting the itch to explore what I can do.  What would be a stretch for me?  What is something that would expand my interests and skills?

Don't get me wrong, I miss the lazy snuggling and the toothless, drooling grin.  I miss the courageous first steps and chasing after lightning bugs.  I miss the excited first hit at a baseball game and the proud completion of that first piano recital.  There's a lot of things that I miss but I don't think I want to keep my kids little as much as I want to be growing too.
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